Ok, I should being asleep right now, but I'm not. I haven't slept for more than about 2,5-5 hours/ night for the last 3 years. I guess that's one of the reason why I'm this overweight.
I'm embaressed of thinking about me, walking around wraped up in pure denial and not being honest to myself. I'm not kidding, it's true that I've been pretending that I'm thin and that I can wear clothes that shows off a bit or/and are tight. But the truth is the complete oposite!
Well, for the last years the truth has been taking in on me, and like during year 2006 it really reached and kind of embraced me and my soul. It's like I've been enlighted or something. I'm aware of the fact that I neigther can nor are allowed to eat as much as I used to do. The best for me would be, stop eating and just go for liquids like tea, coffee and in worst case diet soda. Today was a really good "food day" from my point of view:
breakfast: 1 cup of coffee
snack: -
lunch: 1 cup of coffee
snack: -
dinner: -
other: 20 chewing gums
I'm supposed to go to my class in Spanish grammar, but honestly, I'm gonna miss that one on purpose. But I still have to take the bus into town anyway,'cause I have to go to the bank and fix a code so that I can pay bills on the Internet again. And most important, I gotta go to the gym for like an hour and a half and work on the back of my enormous thighs.
Now I'm gonna listen to some relaxing music, like acoustic versions of Placebo. Placebo's my favourite group if you wanted to know...
//Elin xoxo
